I was reading Overheard in New York, then Overheard in an Office and then Overheard at the beach..anyway, these made me giggle:

Fat guy to wife who's sunbathing on her stomach: Wow. You need to shave -- you got some wild, stray hairs back there.
Wife: Say it louder, asshole.
___________________________________________________
Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?

Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.

Guy #2: Dude. That's a guy.

____________________________________________________


Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her cooter right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twenty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You're on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tattoo above your vagina that says 'Come on in.'
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don't. That's what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I'll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You'll forget. Do it now. No one's watching. [Jill lowers her bikini bottom.] I'm going to tell that person to stop telling lies about you.

_____________________________________________________________
Before or after They Take Care of Joanie's Really Bad Slut Problem?

Walking vendor: Oh, I know you! I fucked your sister on your front lawn! Your parents have a really bad grub problem. They should take care of that.


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Carnie kid: Yo, my friend over there thinks you're cute.
Girl: Uh... okay.
Carnie kid: He wants to guess your weight.

A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

Check this site out! It's the trials that Rand goes through to get a commerical made during the super bowl to propose to this girlfriend, and then ultimately the aired proposal with her response. It's freaking awesome.
mysuperproposal.com

Hello! Anyone miss me writing on here. ha.

This has been a strange week, with lots of non-typical things changing my schedule. I do like my schedule.
Wednesday I took a day off with Chris and went to Redondo Beach to get hair/nails done. After Chris was finished with her hair and I was half done with mine, Ty's (hairdresser) daughter broke her arm at school and she had to go take care of that. Poor Kenda. She's a stud, tho. When I called to talk to Ty about finishing my hair, I got Kenda instead and she told me the worst part of the whole thing was the flu shot in the morning, hours before she fell off the monkey bars. Ty told me today she may have to have surgery, poor baby.
Thursday Summer's school called saying she had a fever, for which I promptly picked her up. We went home, gave her some motrin and practiced being couch potatoes. We're really good at that, practically olympic quality couch potatoes. She seemed fine aside from the fever, full of good humor and not lethargic at all. The fever went down, and I spent a couple of hours trying find someone to babysit her for me on Friday. I had a crazy busy day scheduled at work, plus Adrianna's birthday to bring a cake to. I didn't find much luck in babysitters (except for Jen, but that was more travel than I wanted) so I resigned myself to staying at home for the next day. At 1:40am she woke me up to show me the fever was back, to the tune of 103.7. More motrin and cider for her throat and back to bed.
Friday morning Billy gets up, leaves me to sleep since I'm not planning to go to work. At 6am, Summer comes into my room, dressed for school and wondering what I'm doing in bed. No fever. With work pressing on my mind, I made the ill-advised choice to get ready in 15 minutes and take her to school. At 1pm the school had me get her. I know, I know, I'm mother-of-the-year. We ended up at the doctors at 4:30 and found it probably to be a virus, not strep. Now the munchkin is sleeping on the couch trying to recooperate enough to make it to Sunday's company picnic. The doctor told me if she felt ok it was fine to go.
Tomorrow night Billy is going out for a change, so I'll be home bound both days. And now, a really needed shower for me. I feel like a grease ball.

I AM SICK. IT IS BILLY'S FAULT. %#@*&!!!!!!!

I took my car over for an estimate for repair, and since they have to repaint the door and the back quarter panel...the total comes to $1025! This will be the first time I've ever used my insurance, and it'll only cost me $100. I'm even kind of excited about it because I had a couple of dings from people opening their door into me that will get fixed just due to their proximity to the key mark. YAY! The shop was really nice too, not your typical greasy repair place. Bueno.

Today I talked to my friend Aaron, who used to work with me. He just got a job at another place like ours, but in Newport Beach. He also told me they asked him if he knew any schedulers. He REALLY wants me to go interview.

1. Work has been going steadily downhill for a while now. The doctors can be asses to us, demanding and not appreciative and an overall negative feeling is permeating the building like a skunks stench. I've probably reached my salary cap, and I'm DEFINATLY not paid my worth. Per Aaron, this place spares no expense on the building and gave him his requested salary without batting an eyelash.

2. Newport Beach is a 30 min commute to my current 10-15 min commute. Now I'm able to leave to get to Summer pretty quickly, if I worked there I would be dealing with the variable of traffic. Also, my hours are awesome, 7-3:30. I don't know what the new companies hours would be, but they are open from 7am to 6pm.

3. I do so much more than scheduling at this job. I transcribe, organize and keep the lab a working machine, as far as the paperwork stuff is concerned. Would I be utterly bored just scheduling? Would it be front office..which is like a demotion?

4. I hate change. A lot.

Ok people..weigh in. What do you think?

I was reading a random list of funny stuff, and this one made me giggle:

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?



heheheh

Have a good day.

Finally, a picture from our trip. This is beautiful a St. Thomas beach. I wish I were still there!

It turns out the Fujifilm Finepix 4900 was something of an antique, as Jen and I searched all over for a new memory card for it to find such an item only exists online. It is only 2.4 megapixels as well, so I took some advice and bought a new digital camera. It's a Canon Powershot A620, and in 15 minutes I had the thing more or less totally figured out! Here is our first picture. The screen moves so you can take a picture of yourself without guessing what it will look like. YAY new toy!

The kid is sick..again. Last week we were home with her one day and today I left work half day because she had a fever. She slept much of the day and now is feeling better, eating chicken wings and doing her homework. Yay! I hope she is healthy enough to go to school tomorrow so I don't get the hairy eyeball at work.

This weekend I have a lot of potential plans. Tammy and I have potential plans saturday, and Friday night I'm doing my standard night of movies at Chris'. Sunday I have potential plans to go see Grace, my friend Stacey's baby for the first time. Hey saisha do you potentially want to go do that with me?

Two days till the weekend. W00P!

In weekends of recent past I've been drinking more than my usual amount and having a fairly good time getting out and about. A bar in Irvine call Hamburger Mary's opened and we've been frequenting there (if you can call two visits frequenting). I also got a new tattoo not too long ago, it's all healed. I should take a picture and post it. The problem with that is someone else will need to take the picture if the tattoo isn't to be distorted in it. I'll work it out.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and with it is my brother-in-law's wedding in Laughlin. Yay..a drive to Laughlin with Billy and Summer. Of course there is the up side where I get to visit a casino. That's good stuff. My brother-in-law is pretty cool people, and I'm excited to see him getting hitched to Jessica, who is very cool people as well.

School starts again for me on Monday, my last semester! YEE HAW! or make that yeehaw. One of those.

Tonight's dinner is "A couple of minute steaks and potato ragout". Wish me luck. I have done much chopping and now I must apply heat to food. go me!

Summer and I went to the eye dr today and found she needed superpeepers! Here she is, pleased as punch to have a new face accessory. Anyone want to take bets on how long it takes her to lose these?

Check out these cute kids having a blast at Disney!

This is Kristie and I riding Thunder Mountain at Disneyland yesterday. We took Summer and Sami and had the best time.

As you may have noticed, I'm finally uploading pictures again on Flickr. Here's Billy and Summer at CSOC company picnic.

This weekend Billy and I went to Palm Springs for our 8th anniversary celebration! Much fun was had and I managed to get past my fear of falling long enough to go on the aerial tram which ascends 8000 ft and deposits everyone at a mountain station with a whole bunch of nature!

Wish me luck! I have my first dental appt in more than 10 years today. I've been stressing about this for over a year. I'm armed with Xanax, baby, and I'm ready to go.

On the plus side, this weekend we got Tivo! Yay!

mmmm..leftover chinese food for breakfast.

I've been trying to plan an anniversary trip for Billy and I..but really haven't found any places we'd be interested in going for the weekend. Here are the limitations:

Within 2-3 hours driving distance (of So Cal)
Budget of $500
Leaving Oct 28, home 30th
Romance romance romance!

The main problem I'm running into is finding things to do at the destination. Billy isn't into most of your typical sight-seeing stuff. A great B&B would be perfect, but so far I haven't found just the right thing.

My favorite idea so far is to stay at the Bonaventure in LA and do the touristy stuff there we never do because we live here.

Any creative ideas?

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
( my answers )